Embracing Slow Parenting: Nurturing Creativity and Harmony in Family Life

Slow Parenting. I learned what it was by definition only with my second child. By reading books on gentle parenting, I realized that the intuitive approach I had with my two children at that time (Sky 5 years old and Flynn 2 years old) was exactly that. For me, slow parenting means guiding your child in their growth and exploration of this world in a gentle, unhurried way, paced to their rhythms. It's also about not overloading their schedule with activities and classes. Just because our adult lives are busy and stressful doesn't mean we should impose that on our children.

In any case, I find it challenging myself to keep up with the pace of our society. I've always followed my intuition for both small everyday things like meal times (I prefer to follow my body's needs at my own pace rather than eating at noon just because it's "lunchtime") and life choices. I adopt this way of thinking and doing things with my children as well (to the extent possible, as my older child is now in kindergarten).

For me, it's natural, it's normal. It's doing what makes me feel better, more in harmony with the present moment, with myself, and my environment.

Slow Parenting is consciously choosing to stop and be with our children. There are a thousand and one things to do, but they are not all urgent. The dishes can wait. The email you need to send, the laundry too. Yes, it piles up, and I'm not saying we should live in chaos... But it's about choosing, when our child demands our time, and even when they don't expect it... to say okay, I'm all yours, there's no rush, YOU are what's important.

Letting them get bored is also part of Slow Parenting. I'm often asked for my opinion on children who constantly demand their parents' attention to be entertained and play, especially at a young age. In my view, children are often too stimulated by electronic games and videos. They become somewhat dependent on them and ask for more when there's nothing more exciting to do. In my opinion, it's important for both young and old to have screen-free and unplanned moments. It is said that creativity emerges through moments of boredom.

The day our child is born, we already start thinking about the next stages they must go through. It starts with sleeping through the night, then being able to crawl, walk on their own, eat on their own, talk, and so on. From child to adult quickly under the pressure to succeed and achieve each milestone. On a timeline that is considered normal, if not better. As if all of this would ensure their success and happiness in life. But what about their happiness? I like to believe that a happy child, one who lives without the pressure to excel or perform, will have developed the abilities to create their own happiness and the life they desire.

To give you a more concrete idea of Slow Parenting in our home, I'll share my 5 tips:

1. Stop, Observe, and Listen.

Schedule learning activities with ample time in between. This facilitates assimilation and integration for the child. At our home, before enrolling our child in any classes, we wait to see if there is a genuine interest. For example, my daughter has clearly shown us since she was 2 years old that she loves to sing and dance. So what we did was sing and dance together, read books about dance, watch dance shows, etc. We help her create her world with costumes and the tools she needs to create her own little performances at home. Now that she's 5 years old, she confidently asks to go to ballet classes. She has explored enough on her own on this topic that she now requests to learn more in a more instructive environment.

2. Don't Overload with Questions.

Especially after a new activity, let your child spontaneously express their comments. We tend to want to know everything and get a report on their day or moment; I suggest staying attentive and paying attention to the tone of voice and negative comments. If your child never talks about the activity, maybe it's not for them.

3. Take Time to Decompress.

I'm talking about us parents here. Days go by quickly, and I notice that when I'm constantly on the go, the children are also more active. This leads to more emotional reactions, less patience, and simply less harmony. During these times, take a few minutes to decompress. It can be as simple as sitting on the couch, taking three deep breaths, drinking some water, putting the phone down, and being present. Our shift will have a calming effect on our child as well. It's like a recalibration for everyone... And we start with new energy.

4. Explore Moments of Synchronicity and Spontaneity.

To give you an example, the other day, my son Flynn and I were cleaning the pool and saw a dead mouse in the filter basket. I couldn't have imagined all the questions that would arise from my little boy. He asked me a bunch of questions about death... "Why isn't it moving anymore? Will its body still work? Can't it go back to its home?". This is an opportunity to discuss and learn together. He himself later asked if we could go to the forest to let the little brother of this mouse know that it wouldn't be coming home.

5. Encourage Open-Ended Play.

Create a zone in your children's lives where there are no right or wrong answers. Games that have no specific purpose can encourage children to delve deeper into their imagination and creativity. For example, the toys in our house (for the most part) have multiple functions and can be used in many ways. Like magnetic wooden building blocks, a basket of natural items (rocks, leaves, pieces of wood, pinecones), playdough, kinetic sand, a dollhouse, crayons, and paper.

In the end, Slow Parenting is not a complicated method or philosophy to integrate. It's quite the opposite. It's following your intuition as a parent while creating space and flexibility in your family's life. Instead of saying Go, you say Slow. All with the goal of living more in harmony and respecting everyone's pace.